I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
