I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
