No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
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