im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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