i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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