piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
