theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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