i would punch a child for taco bell
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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