Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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