Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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