Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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