So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
