It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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