I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
