I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
