Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
