True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
