It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
