ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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