you guys were way drunker than both of me
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
