If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
