Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
