No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
