Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
