At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
