He asked to "fluff my boner.."
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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