I hate all girls vehemently.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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