Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
