I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
