I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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