her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
