Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
