Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
