like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
