I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
