the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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