It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize