i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
