I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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