I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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