Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i black out too much to be "responsible"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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