I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
