Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
