i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
