I feel great
I just peed on a car
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
