I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
