i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
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