left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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