I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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