dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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