I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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