the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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