so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
