Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Are we still banned from the library?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
