i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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