How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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