She said her name was "party"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
