I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
