what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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