i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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