Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize