All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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